Hello:) I write an essay every day to improve my English, but I'm not sure it is correct or not.
Could you check my essay and please let me know if there are some mistakes.
Thank you.


Today's topic is working in Japan

I've been here for 6months so far. The reason why I came here is of course to study English, but also I wanted to know what different traditions and culture between Canada and Japan. I noticed something of woks aren't same as Japan.
Firstly, local residents change their job a lot of times in the life. It's not common in Japan. They keep working with same jobs. If they have a lot of kinds job in their background, they are considered they can't work very well. Therefore, I was surprised when I knew it.
Secondly, they take a vacation more often than Japan When they do it, they enjoy their hobbies like to go camping with family and traveling. I think Japanese is too much work. They should work more less, then enjoying the time when they do something what they want. I'm proud of Japan, but I hope working systems in Japan will be more comfortable for everyone.

Nice short essay! I've re-written it with some changes. For some phrases, I gave multiple options and the words in parentheses (like this) are optional. I hope everything is clear!

"I've been here 6 months, so far. The reason I came here is, of course, to study English. But I also wanted to learn about the cultural differences and differences in tradition between Canada and Japan. I've noticed some things relating to work aren't the same as in Japan. First(ly), local residents/people here change jobs many times in their life. This isn't common in Japan. The Japanese (tend to) continue working the same job. If they have a lot of different jobs on their resume/CV, they are considered to be poor workers/bad employees. Therefore/So, I was surprised when I discovered this/found this out.
Second(ly), in Canada, they take vacation more than in Japan. When they do they enjoy hobbies like going camping with family and traveling. I think the Japanese work too much. They should work less and enjoy spending time doing what they want/doing things they like. I'm proud of Japan, but I hope work life in Japan becomes more relaxed [there may be a better word depending on what you mean] for everyone."

Let me know if you have questions!