Is this text grammatically correct? (I know it sounds a bit weird because it is a translation of a French novel with very long sentences and many images)

I would give my cardigan. We would enter the dining room of the restaurant to the sound of a warrior marching tune played by Gypsies; we would walk forward between the rows of the served tables as on an easy path to glory and, feeling the joyful fervour, printed on our body by the rhythms of the band which was awarding us its military honours, we would try to conceal it under a serious and icy look or under a weary gait ̶ so as not to mimic those female cabaret singers who, as they went to sing a bawdy couplet on an aggressive air, run onto the stage with the martial composure of a triumphant general.