Can someone show me the mistakes in this text, please? Thank you
How to encourage people to lead a healthy lifestyle is a highly controversial issue. Many people share the view that it is necessary that the government imposes laws to control the impact of what we eat and how often we do physical activity, whereas the detractors argue that on no account we can put education in second place.
First of all, as a rough rule of thumb, having healthy habits such as eating fruits and vegetables and exercising frequently is beneficial for our health. Not only because do we have more energy, but we can also have a more balanced lifestyle. However, in modern society, people are busier and have an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle. For these reasons, the defenders of enduring laws against companies that do not take into consideration the civilians’ health consider that the government does need to take measures to tackle this problem. Were the authorities not to punish these businesses, the budget allocated to health system will be major.
Nevertheless, these arguments pale into insignificance for the opponents who believe that education is more effective. Should we be aware of the consequences of bad habits such as smoking or drinking alcohol, our health will not be jeopardised. The more education we have, the less hazardous habits we will have.
In conclusion, I would say that there is no doubt about the cruciality of leading a healthy lifestyle. Under no circumstances, would government forget about campaigning against impaired products and the adverse effects of the lack of having an unhealthy lifestyle, but there is no need of forbidding products and quit the odds of freedom.

Question

Can someone show me the mistakes in this text, please? Thank you
How to encourage people to lead a healthy lifestyle is a highly controversial issue. Many people share the view that it is necessary that the government imposes laws to control the impact of what we eat and how often we do physical activity, whereas the detractors argue that on no account we can put education in second place.
First of all, as a rough rule of thumb, having healthy habits such as eating fruits and vegetables and exercising frequently is beneficial for our health. Not only because do we have more energy, but we can also have a more balanced lifestyle. However, in modern society, people are busier and have an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle.  For these reasons, the defenders of enduring laws against companies that do not take into consideration the civilians’ health consider that the government does need to take measures to tackle this problem. Were the authorities not to punish these businesses, the budget allocated to health system will be major.
Nevertheless, these arguments pale into insignificance for the opponents who believe that education is more effective. Should we be aware of the consequences of bad habits such as smoking or drinking alcohol, our health will not be jeopardised. The more education we have, the less hazardous habits we will have.
In conclusion, I would say that there is no doubt about the cruciality of leading a healthy lifestyle. Under no circumstances, would government forget about campaigning against impaired products and the adverse effects of the lack of having an unhealthy lifestyle, but there is no need of forbidding products and quit the odds of freedom.

Apricotte · Answer

The issue of how to encourage people to lead a healthy lifestyle is highly controversial. Many people share the view that it is necessary for the government to impose laws to control the impact of what we eat and how often we do physical activity, whereas the detractors argue that on no account should we put education in second place.
As a rough rule of thumb, having healthy habits such as eating fruits and vegetables and exercising frequently is beneficial for our health. Not only because we have more energy, but we can also have a more balanced lifestyle. However, in modern society, people are busier and have unhealthy, sedentary lifestyles. Due to this, advocates of creating laws against companies that do not take into consideration civilians’ health insist that the government needs to take measures to tackle this problem. Were the authorities not to punish these businesses, the budget allocated to health system would be major.
Nevertheless, these arguments seem insignificant to the opponents who believe that education is more effective. Should we be made aware of the consequences of bad habits such as smoking or drinking alcohol, our health would not be jeopardised. The more education we have, the less hazardous habits we will have.
In conclusion, I would say that there is no doubt about the importance of leading a healthy lifestyle. Under no circumstances should the government forget about campaigning against unhealthy products and the adverse effects of not having a healthy lifestyle, but there is no need to forbid products and restrict consumer's freedom.

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